We need to talk about Patti. . .

Is Patti LuPone racist? A diva? A . . . hockey fan?

If you have not read the latest Patti Lupone profile that appeared this week, please put your lives on hold and dig in.

I love nothing more than getting into a rich celeb profile and spitballing all day. Let’s do that here. There is certainly a lot to go on, but here’s where I’ll start:

• I did not see her connection to hockey coming.

• The account of her attending a Rangers game took me out

• I can’t believe she dated Kevin Kline

Patti Lupone can offer a soundbite like no one else: