Unpacking the Magic & Chaos of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

From Mariah Carey and Boy Bands to Cursed Balloons: The Most Iconic Macy’s Parade Moments

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Happy almost Thanksgiving!

While this holiday is fraught for many reasons, it is also the occasion for one of American culture's most beautiful twisted fantasies, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Starting in 1924, after the CEO announced it with only two weeks’ notice (I’m sure his staff was thrilled!), it has been a tradition ever since.

Sometimes I try to imagine how I would describe this parade to an alien from outer space with no knowledge of our customs:

“TV anchors, struggling to appear normal, have to adlib amid scripted banter as they attempt to describe a stream of huge balloons ushered down a street, accompanied by children, marching bands, clowns, Miss America, boy bands, Hollywood actors or musicians rebranding as theater actors in Broadway musicals, teasers of Broadway shows, and, for reasons no one can explain, Santa.”

Before the alien could raise a limb to ask 500 follow-up questions, I’d say “and this is all in the service of a department store in decline, and Thanksgiving, an event that unites us all in the knowledge that truly no one is prepared to lip sync.”

(Witness Rita Ora)

I guess that wouldn’t really cut it, but nonetheless, I am fascinated. I landed on a wiki put together by fans of the parade that catalogs its guest stars, performers, hosts, floats, marching bands, and other trivia. After reviewing all the parades for which they have records, it’s clear that parades are a fun and unexpected snapshot of a moment in time, an archive of our own pop culture.

Here, in no particular order, are some questions, hot takes, and comments I have on this decidedly American event.

• Why can’t we normalize authors appearing like in 1992 when they somehow convinced somewhat recluse Ann Martin to appear with the Baby-Sitter’s Club?

The Baby-Sitter’s Club performed “Dance” in the 1992 parade, and Ann seems to hide in plain sight on the float, which I’m guess she’d prefer.

• I don’t know why we decided to make this parade the proving ground for boy bands in the 90s, but I’m not mad about it. I forgot that Backstreet Boys got there first (1997), but NSYNC weren’t far behind (1998).

(I still will never understand why JC isn’t a bigger artist).

I’m giving special consideration to OTown (Katie Couric referring to them as a “supergroup” is ….generous) and 98 degrees for doing their best, but Nick Lachey does pull focus for me now, and I can’t unsee that.

• 1997 was a truly cursed year. Yes, it was the year Princess Diana died, but it was also the year of the balloon massacre at the parade. Wind gusts made some balloons hard to control. A Cat in the Hat balloon put a woman into a coma for over 20 days and led to the NYPD stabbing some balloons to deflate them before they could do more harm. Imagine being with a small child at the parade and seeing this? Barney, just trying to live his life, was blown into a light post and torn apart before all watching (including kids). Telling my grandkids this is how dinosaurs went extinct.

• This parade does offer people far from NYC a glimpse of the magic of Broadway, and for that I will always stan.

I mean, Dreamgirls in 1982? Are you kidding me?

• I live for the drama of live TV and awkward host interactions. Yes, we could talk about the time an anchor on the street awkwardly had to wait 30 seconds for President Biden to figure out how to talk to her on live tv, but I’d rather reach further back into the archive. In reviewing tapes of old parades, I landed on 1976. I should have known the bicentennial would bring out a lot of weird energy at the parade. I kind of love that Della Reese (singer and star of Touched by an Angel) was a cohost along with McLean Stevenson (famous for M.A.S.H.), a man who felt comfortable at one point referring to the audience as “ding-a-lings.” She calls him out for being weird about a girls’ marching band before popping out of the studio to sing “Never Can Say Goodbye” while riding atop a doodlebug. Was there a chemistry read for these two? Was their mutual dislike a bit? I will never know, but what a strange and intense choice for a parade on a day about giving thanks.

Here is a typical exchange:

While all of this was playing out, Ed McMahon was left out in the street to banter with performers and marching bands and can be heard at one point off camera saying “I don’t know, they give me nothing!” possibly referring to the hosts. Poor Ed.

At least he got to see Evil Kaneivel and son riding around the route AND Barry Manilow perform. What a time to be alive.

• The Rockettes always bring it. I have no notes for them, just the sadness of knowing I’m never going to make it at 5’1. Also, I would really love a behind-the-scenes docu-series in the style of the Dallas Cheerleaders doc. What must it be like to be a Rockette?

• Not a popular take, but the parade sets Santa up to be underwhelming (to me), because it always means the end of the parade. And honestly, could Santa ever top acts like BBMak? Not likely.

• No one can top Santa except for Mariah Carey. Had I been Santa, I would have refused to follow this. She is an icon simply for the way she holds this umbrella

Have a great holiday, and please share your favorite parade moment (from this or any year). I love getting into it.

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Thanks for reading!

This is a free post for subscribers of Landline. Consider subscribing to the paid plan to get my weekly email of recommendations and links, a podcast episode, and more! You can also help me spread the word by sharing it with a friend who would love it. Thank you for being a friend!