Martha Stewart’s Unfiltered Moments: A Leo's Guide to Perfectionism
On "Martha," a doc on the perils of being a woman in business, a Leo, and not like the other girls
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When J. Lo put out her $25 million opus “This is Me. . . Now” followed by a making-of documentary called “The Greatest Love Story Never Told,” one of my best friends (a person who has Leo in their chart) sent me a TikTok that said being a Leo should be in the DSM because we’d all do this with her resources. She was not wrong. This text and TikTok have haunted me, and I thought of them often watching the new documentary about Martha Stewart, called simply “Martha.” For the unaware, Martha is firmly a Leo (born August 3rd), and, as a result, I have to stan.
Being a fan of a public Leo who is leo-ing too close to the sun can be a challenge. When Thoreau wrote “go confidently in the direction of your dreams,” he may have been talking about people like Martha who will castigate her ex for cheating on her while casually dismissing her own cheating in the same conversation (more on this later!). All Leo’s are not the same, but Martha certainly embodies the version that is committed to her vision 1000% even if the execution and motivation are at times misguided. The recent doc, Martha, released last week explores hte many contradictions and complexities of Martha Stweart. At it’s heart, it asks the deceptively simple question: what if you’re really not like the other girls?
Martha is perfect at everything she does, and this has not won her friends or made her “likeable.” She is also past 80 and unfiltered and brimming with the confidence of a woman who has achieved all her professional goals while posting a thirst trap that lives in my head rent-free for its sheer confidence and swagger.
Here are my key takeaways from this attempt to tell the story of one of the most singular people in modern American history:
Martha is a cautionary tale about being your parents’ favorite. Martha’s dad favored her and taught her everything she knows about gardening. He had to be an expert because he had many kids to feed and was not particularly good at his job as a salesman (according to Martha). Martha, in turn, took on his perfectionism and the Daddy issues that seem to haunt her garden if not her choices.
Martha made out with a stranger on her honeymoon and does not consider that cheating. In a sequence that is presented as a cross between the romantic mystery of Russell Crowe writing formulas on windows in A Beautiful Mind and Helena Bonham Carter going on vacation in Room with a View, she describes being a 19-year-old bride (red flag) on a long honeymoon with her husband, Andy and attending an Easter vigil mass at the duomo. Caught up in the beauty of the place and the moment, there was nothing for her to do but make out with a stranger she met at church. Is this what Conclave is about? Asking for me, I haven’t seen it yet. She describes this like it was a logical and biological response to the space. When presented with oxygen, what can you do but breathe? To be clear, this is not cheating! (according to Martha). This is romance!
Take your daughter to work day was not her fave day of the year. Martha is an expert homemaker but not an expert spouse or mother. She doesn’t do feelings (it’s giving WASP) and seems more at ease tending to a garden than a husband or her daughter, Alexis. I actually admire her openness about all of this in the doc and think it’s a clear case where we are far more critical of women who sacrifice their family life to the demands of careers than men.
After giving birth to her daughter, she became one of the first women stockbrokers on Wall Street. Was it a great time? No. I am ready for the Industry-style prequel documenting this history.
It all began with a mouse, I mean, . . .house. After an economic downturn in 1973, Martha left Wall Street and moved to Westport, CT. There, she rehabbed a colonial house on six acres and focused all her perfectionism on keeping a home and entertaining. She started a catering business and developed a rep for herself as an expert on stylish home decor and cuisine. After launching an entertaining book that brought together recipes with “how-to” guides for decorating your home or hosting a dinner party, she started to become a national figure.
Her husband cheated on her with one of her assistants, leading to the end of the marriage. Martha argues women watching should leave husbands who cheat on them. When the director notes that she cheated earlier in the marriage, she immediately responds “ugh, yeah, but Andy didn’t know about that.” (he said he did). She’s wild for this, and though it screams double-standard, I have to stan. That is the bizarre hold she has on me with her absolute embrace of illogical takes.
I would pay any amount of money for access to Martha’s archives. In the dark period surrounding her divorce (she was on a publicity tour for her wedding book while her husband left her), we see Martha in her own words reaching out to Andy to save the marriage through primal letters. Modern-day Martha won’t talk about this (again, she doesn’t do emotions), but apparently she gave the director access to these extremely personal pieces of her archives to tell the story. What we get is a very vulnerable and sad statement of remore and regret and anger and every possible feeling these life events would create. What it created in me was a desire to see more of this Martha. The one that would be vulnerable, abandon perfection, and talk about feelings. My favorite moments in the doc (beside her humor) were these moments of tenderness in these letters and her prison diary.
Speaking of: this doc spends about half of its time on her trial and prison sentence. I actually don’t care if she committed insider trading or lied about it. I do think gender and celebrity played a part in honing in on her as a symbol of the excesses of the extremely rich and their perceived infallibility. This did manipulate me into feeling sad the first self-created woman billionaire fell victim to a young Jim Comey and the feds, but then you have to remember that there is no such thing as an ethical billionaire. However, I can hold two truths nad once, and although Martha is not a victim she was also done dirty.
People who play Martha will get theirs. Martha is no joke, and as she proved at the Justin Bieber roast, she knows how to deliver creative insults. Here are two of my faves.
“Those prosecutors should have been put in a Cuisnart and turned on high.”
“She’s dead now, thank goodness.” - Martha on a NY Post writer who covered her trial.
Let. Her. Cook. Martha wants final cut in all situations. Martha really wants to control her narrative but can’t help suggesting more interesting stories than the one she wants us to focus on. Martha thinks that this rise from humble origins to national stardom and expertise as an educator is her story, but is it? (She has already been critical of the film for making her look old and not including her grandchildren in statements to the NY Times). We all contain multitudes, and that is certainly true of Martha. There are so many stories we could tell about her singularity, her ingenuity, her commitment to perfectionism being an asset and flaw, and more. What I took from this documentary is that Martha’s stories are ones I want to learn more about, whether or not she influences the telling.
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