Actually Homophobic

Taylor Swift, Queerness, and the Problems with “Actually Romantic”

This is a free post for subscribers of Landline, a pop culture and history newsletter for people who care about the Titanic, and the Kate Winslet vehicle of the same name. Consider subscribing to the paid plan to get my weekly email of recommendations and links, a podcast episode, and more! You can also help me spread the word by sharing it with a friend who would love it.

Writing about Taylor Swift is like saying you love Twilight in public; even if it’s sincere it will not pass without comment.

I have been a fan of Taylor Swift since “Tim McGraw” and some of her songs live rent-free in my head as soundtracks to moments in my life. I remember listening to 1989 nonstop, for example, around the time I met my now-wife. None of those songs spoke to my life specifically, but the joy of the record was something I sought out as I drove to Boston to see her. More recently, when an important relationship in my life came to an end, I found myself listening to “My Tears Ricochet” nonstop. This song about betrayal spoke to me as I sat with similar feelings of being hurt by someone’s choices. All to say, and to paraphrase one of Taylor’s collaborators, I come to discuss Taylor Swift’s work, not to attack her.

I didn’t know what to expect when I hit “play” on Taylor Swift’s new album, The Life of a Showgirl, but I can tell you it was not homophobia. I have seen plenty of commentary on this album among fans who are similarly disappointed in this album. People have feedback on the slapdash quality of the lyrics, the lack of self-awareness lamenting her victimhood in “Cancelled,” and the many versions of the album on offer for fans at a time when people are struggling and she’s a literal billionaire, etc. I won’t even get into the sonic terrorism of “Wood” with its praise of Travis Kelce’s anatomy. Girl, it’s LGBTQ History Month! We don’t need this.

I want to talk about the track “Actually Romantic” and the homophobia in that song that I find so toxic (hate using this word because it feels disrespectful to Britney Spears). The internet is saying this song is Swift’s response to “Sympathy is a Knife,” a track off Charli XCX’s iconic Brat album. For those unacquainted with the song, it is a song where Charlie contends with her own insecurity in the industry that feels especially acute when around someone of Taylor Swift’s fame and success:

Don’t wanna see her backstage at my boyfriend’s show

Fingers crossed behind my back, I hope they break up quick

‘Cause I couldn’t even be her if I tried

I’m opposite, I’m on the other side

These are perhaps the harshest lyrics on the track, but critical only of her own deep insecurities. I don’t know how Swift heard that and somehow wrote “Actually Romantic.” A possible play on the Charli track “Everything is Romantic,” it imagines a rival’s obsession with her as so intense as to be romantic.

But it’s actually sweet

All the time you’ve spent on me

It’s honestly wild

All the effort you’ve put in

It’s actually romantic

I really gotta hand it to you, ooh

No man has ever loved me like you do

This obsession the rival has for her gets reimagined as “flirting.”

I’ve seen plenty of commentary on this song focusing on the lack of self-awareness required to punch down on someone who has not had her level of success. Not to mention the fact that Charli’s own alleged “diss” is about the ways she finds Swift’s success intimidating. Taylor Swift could have come at this like Lorde, who, on the remix to Girl, So Confusing met vulnerability with vulnerability. This is one of my favorite tracks from last year because it’s so rare to hear women publicly discuss the pressure put on them by the industry and the challenge to view a colleague as a peer, not a rival:

People say we’re alike

They say we’ve got the same hair

It’s you and me on the coin

The industry loves to spend

And when we put this to bed

The internet will go crazy

I’m glad I know how you feel

‘Cause I ride for you, Charli (Charli, Charli)

The thing I have not seen discussed enough is how absolutely hateful and gross it is to suggest the root of a rival’s enmity is based on their alleged attraction to you, especially when it’s framed as queer desire.

Taylor Swift is no stranger to queerness. She has advocated against anti-LGBT legislation, played benefits for queer causes, and won praise for greeting fans from the stage of the Eras tour, saying, “Just trying to look nice for my guys and gals and non-binary pals.” (Not getting into “You Need to Calm Down” which is cringe but affirming). This kind of inclusivity has drawn a lot of queer fans to her work. Every artist should be so lucky as to have queer fans. We love hard, we will develop an encyclopedic knowledge of your work, and defend you to any misguided critics, or worse, people who remain complacently ignorant of your power.

Queer fans have also shown Swift the ultimate tribute of wondering if she could be queer. Called “Kaylor,” this theory suggested Swift had a romantic relationship with friend Karlie Kloss. As a 2023 article in the New York Times suggested, the truth of the rumor was immaterial to the imagination it offered queer fans to see themselves in her story, even if it was fan fiction. As Emmeline Clein described in her 2023 piece, “Kaylor and other rumored celesbian couples are fairy tales for gay women raised on straight ones; fables where two people who appear to be patriarchy’s pinups are actually manipulating the men with money, choosing the girl over all the guys.” Swift loves fairy tales, so what’s the problem?

It was hard to guess Taylor Swift’s own feelings on this theory until an opinion piece appeared in the New York Times last year entitled “Look what we made Taylor Swift Do.” Written by Anna Marks, editor of the Opinions section, it examines the history of speculation over Swift’s sexuality and the degree to which her work encourages such speculation as yet another area of her life for which her songs offer “Easter Eggs.”:

“Since at least her “Lover” era, Ms. Swift has explicitly encouraged her fans to read into the coded messages (which she calls “Easter eggs”) she leaves in music videos, social media posts and interviews with traditional media outlets, but a majority of those fans largely ignore or discount the dropped hairpins that might hint at queer identity. For them, acknowledging even the possibility that Ms. Swift could be queer would irrevocably alter the way they connect with her celebrity, the true product they’re consuming.”

In response to this, Tree Paine, Taylor Swift’s publicist, offered critical pushback to CNN Business:

“Because of her massive success, in this moment there is a Taylor-shaped hole in people’s ethics.” Adding, “This article wouldn’t have been allowed to be written about Shawn Mendes or any male artist whose sexuality has been questioned by fans. . . There seems to be no boundary some journalists won’t cross when writing about Taylor, regardless of how invasive, untrue, and inappropriate it is - all under the protective veil of an ‘opinion piece.”

This was a piece that launched a thousand group chats in my world. I am not a fan of speculating over anyone’s sexuality publicly or investigating their relationships as if trying to prove some hypothesis. When directed at alleged queer relationships, it feels too much like proving the commission of a crime, which is giving Carol (no shade to Carol). What caught my attention was the public pushback to this speculation. Why is this something she feels the need to deny? Who cares? And why bring Shawn Mendes into it?

At the time, I recalled comparable speculation about Lady Gaga’s gender early in her career. When asked if she was a man by Anderson Cooper in 2011, she responded, “Why the hell am I going to waste my time and give a press release about whether or not I have a penis? My fans don’t care and neither do I”. In 2024, she expounded on her decision to remain mostly silent on the rumors because she didn’t want a trans or gender nonconforming person to feel shame if they saw her feel the need to deny it. She added, “I’ve been in situations where fixing a rumor was not in the best interest of the well-being of other people.” Lady Gaga is not perfect but we can see that she actually thought about how her response would impact vulnerable people in communities she cares about.

All of this brings me back to “Actually Romantic.” Swift has indicated in interviews that she understands she can and should advocate for queer fans whose rights are at stake. Why then, at a time when those rights are arguably more at risk than ever in your 20-year career, would you settle a perceived score by framing the relationship you imagine with a rival as romantic? Suggesting that someone who is mistreating you is only doing it because they are driven by queer desire is to play on an old and extremely toxic stereotype. It suggests queer desire is a joke, embarrassing, or at worst, predatory.

What if Charli isn’t even thinking about Taylor Swift at all? And what are we to make of Swift using language she had her PR rep go out of her way to call “inappropriate” when used to speculate about her?

In fact, Taylor Swift presents herself as the one who is turned on by a female rival’s obsession, singing in the bridge:

You think I’m tacky, baby

Stop talking dirty to me

It sounded nasty, but it feels like you’re flirting with me

I mind my business, God’s my witness that I don’t provoke it

It’s kind of making me wet (Oh)

At a time when I’m genuinely so sad to see our democracy under attack from within and so many people’s rights being violently stripped away by an authoritarian, I can’t fathom the choice to punch down not only on a rival, but on an entire group of people you claim to care about.

For someone who is notorious for how thoughtful she is in investing her lyrics and iconography with deep meaning, what are we to make of this?

Call Me! (or not!)

I’d love to hear from you! Drop your thoughts in the comments to share with the Landline community, or reply to this email to contact me. You can also find me on Instagram, or email me. I don’t have a dedicated phone line yet (just like in my youth), but maybe someday I’ll achieve Claudia status and get a Landline.

Thanks for reading!

This is a free post for subscribers of Landline. Consider subscribing to the paid plan to get my weekly email of recommendations and links, a podcast episode, and more! You can also help me spread the word by sharing it with a friend who would love it. Thank you for being a friend!